Three Faces
(Ezek.33:7-9; Rom.13:8-10; Mt.18:15-20)
The Japanese, I am told, have a saying: that we all have three faces. The first is the face we show the world. This is our respectable, public face, the one we carefully manage.
The second is for those closest to us: our family and friends. It’s the face we reveal when we are tired, frustrated, or unguarded.
And the third is the hidden face we sometimes hide even from ourselves. This is the truest picture of who we are, for it reflects our deepest heart where our wounds, sins, fears and desires are only fully known by God.
As Christians, our challenge is not to maintain our outward veneer, but to draw God’s grace into our hearts so that we might live lives of holy integrity – consistently presenting only one genuine face to the world.
St Francis de Sales can teach us something here. He is widely known as a meek and gentle saint, but that gentleness did not come easily to him. For years he wrestled with his fiery temper, but he managed to overcome it using several techniques he records in his spiritual classic, Introduction to the Devout Life.

One thing he learnt is to never let even the smallest annoyance enter his mind. Once it gets inside the door, he said, it acts like a tiny spark that can quickly burn the house down. At such moments, he tried distracting himself by focussing on a person’s good qualities, not their failings.
He also prayed solidly for God’s help because he knew he couldn’t do it alone. Some of his prayers were very short, including: ‘Jesus, meek and humble of heart, make my heart like yours.’
By allowing God’s grace to transform the hidden parts of his heart, St Francis de Sales discovered a life of peace which reflected in his face.
In today’s first reading, Ezekiel becomes a watchman for the house of Israel. What is a watchman? It’s someone who must speak up when danger arrives. If a watchman sees danger and says nothing, he shares responsibility for what follows.
The point here is that genuine love always takes responsibility, for real love is never passive. We cannot say we love someone, but refuse to get involved. True love does not hide behind an empty smile.
A fine example of this is St Monica. Outwardly, she was an ordinary mother, but she also had other faces which she kept private. This includes her constant worry, her tears, her years of prayer, and her refusal to give up on her son, Augustine.
She knew that love does not save others by force, but neither does it stand back and say, ‘It’s not my business.’ Her love was patient and suffering, and her faith in God never wavered.

Through God’s grace, St Monica is now recognised for who she became: a devoted mother with the holiest of hearts.
In today’s Gospel, Jesus tells us what to do when something goes wrong in a relationship. ‘If your brother does something wrong, go and have it out with him alone,’ he says.
In other words, don’t write someone off as a lost cause; instead, speak to him. Try to win him back. Christian correction is about love, healing and reconciliation, not humiliation and punishment.
In our second reading, St Paul tells us that the key to all this is love. If we are serious about love, it will stop us from being too harsh or too cowardly towards others, for Christian love avoids both cruelty and indifference. It speaks the truth, but it does so in order to save.
This is where that Japanese saying becomes important. The Christian life is not about maintaining appearances; it’s about letting God’s grace reach our hidden face, the one only God can see. If God can heal our hearts, then our public and private faces will gradually become more truthful, integrated and holy, allowing us to reach out to others in meaningful love.
So, let me ask you: is the kindness you show in public real, or is it just a mask? When you avoid difficult conversations, is it because you are prudent, or because you’re afraid?
And when you come before God in prayer, do you present only your polished face, or do you reveal the real you?
The truth, of course, is that God already sees it all. Our third face is never hidden from him. But here we can take heart, because God does not see us in order to shame us. He sees us in order to heal us. He sees the real person so that his grace may reach into our deepest hearts.
But for this to happen, we must first turn to Jesus. Tell him you want your face to reflect holiness, integrity and love.
And ask for his help.



















